There are two kinds of harmony ... - Dhamma by Ajahn Jayasāro


There are two kinds of harmony: one supportive and one destructive. In the destructive kind of harmony the members of a group avoid speaking about anything that might bring up bad feelings or create conflict, even when certain topics need to be discussed. The unspoken agreement in this kind of group is 'I won't say anything about your behaviour if you don't say anything about mine. Lack of overt conflict is mistaken for social harmony. In the supportive kind of harmony, the members of a group are devoted to the true welfare of both themselves and others. They humbly accept that they have blind spots and make mistakes. They open themselves up to words of advice and admonishment from those around them. They take on the responsibility of offering words of advice and admonishment at a suitable time and place, having first made sure of the facts and cleansed their mind of anger. Even though there may be some hurt feelings every now and then, the kind of harmony that develops from this way of living together is strong and nourishing.


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