When we have difficulties with other people ... - Dhamma by Ajahn Jayasāro

When we have difficulties with other people, we usually think that it's mostly their fault. We think, "How much better our life would be if that person wasn't around!" But if the situation does change and the person we are blaming for our suffering leaves, why is it, that before long, someone else takes their place? If this happens its an indication of a pattern. We need to look more closely within.

It would be wiser to look on these people as our teachers. Sometimes we say that they "press our buttons". Another way of putting this is to say that they draw out the defilements in our hearts. The discomfort is not really due to us having to be with these people. It is rather that we are being forced to face things inside us that we would rather not see. For this reason we can say thank you to all the difficult people in our life for reminding us how much work on our defilements we still have to do. And get down to work

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